David Emery Online

Good Parties

4 July 2006

I just plain and simple don’t “get” consulting.

Why on earth would you voluntarily bring someone in on a project that would most gain by it running massively late and over budget? In fact, if the skill that a consultant has is so important that you’re willing to pay the outrageous fees they command, then why don’t you employ them full time?

This goes hand in hand with the large set of people in the tech world that seem to spend their entire life flitting from conference to conference, “networking”, “speaking” while writing their next book at the same time. I’m a firm believer that 99% of tech conferences are a huge waste of money – most cost hundreds, if not thousands to get into and what, exactly, do you get for your money?

A bunch of people re-hashing what you can read on the internet for free, and some good parties.

Of course, that’s assuming what they’re waffling on about is interesting enough to bother reading for free – quite unlikely really – and also assuming that they haven’t simply pulled it out of their ass.

Which brings us back to consultants.

I suppose it all works out ok really, when we get to the end game. Natural evolution style, the only people stupid enough to employ consultants – and I’m talking about “creative” consultants here, more so then technical consultants – are the people who lack any creativity themselves, so could do with being relieved of some cash. It’s not as though the consultants are really going to be able to help at that point anyway – when you’ve got to the point when you think “yes, a consultant would be a good idea” is beyond the point of no return anyway.

The parties, by the way, are only good due to the copious amount of free alcohol they tend to have. Certainly not because of the company.

(the above image, which couldn’t be more appropriate, is from Gapingvoid. Thanks Hugh for the generous licence! )